Now that I’ve made it through the first two years of medical school, which seemed like one elaborate, seemingly indefinite test, I am now convinced, after a couple of months of clinical rotations, the rest of medical school will be like one long job interview.

As much as your medical school tries to prepare you, settling into the environment of clinic or the ward of the hospital is not very easy.

First of all, you are transitory, supernumerary, and easily replaceable with the next short white coat that will happen along in the next couple of weeks. You are constantly finding yourself a little out of sync with the rest of your workmates, constantly looking for things that are placed just one drawer over, or one cabinet lower in each different clinic, looking for yet another password or username to help you work with a computer system that is set up in a slightly different way everywhere you go. Some patients genuinely want to help you learn, and some are antagonistic to your presence…but all are suffering, tired, and in need, and deserve to be cared for well.

Next, although I have not encountered a single preceptor or teaching physician who was not interested in teaching and having students around, each has their own style, their own manner, and their quirks (as do we all) and I am constantly adjusting to that, all the while keeping my own style and personality intact. It is so easy to just be a chameleon that shifts as needed, but the reality is that you can only keep up a façade so long, and we end up becoming who we really are…best to just be yourself and let the details sort themselves out.

Finally, the constant evaluation, the feeling that every answer is a life and death reflection on your school, your profession, your training, and your personal study habits wears on you. In a way, it is like a perpetual job interview. After a while, though, you realize that although you can walk on nails, or hot coals…no one can walk on eggshells and not crush them. At least I can’t.

All you can do is keep showing up, keep taking notes, keep doing your best…until you finish a rotation, and you are walking out of the building and one of the medical assistants says “See you tomorrow!” and you reply that the rotation is over, and you will be working somewhere else next week. Then they look genuinely sad and say, “Wow, we’re going to miss you.” And you know somewhere deep inside, you aced the interview.